Everyone has a line from a movie that they love.
Because they identify with it, or simply because it sounds cool. Maybe you’re even one of those people who crowbars a famous movie quote into a conversation, waiting to see who knows it and who doesn’t. Yes, you know you’ve done it at least once. Smart arse.
But just like movies go underappreciated, so do great lines of dialogue…So here I present to you dear reader, my little list of great, quotable lines that have gotten lost in a sea of “I could been a contender“, “You talkin’ to me” and “Riggs, you crazy son of a bitch!…”
“You’re the disease…and I’m the cure” – [COBRA – 1986]
People love this line sure, so it’s not exactly un-appreciated…but when it comes to the pantheon of heavily quoted one liners, it’s not exactly “I’ll be back”. It’s quite possible that Stallone’s Cobra character has said this more than once throughout his career as a reinforced car driving, toothpick chewing, George Michael look-alike renegade on the edge cop. In fact he probably brings it out when he comes across someone littering. But think about it, the line is both intimidating AND inspiring, because if he can cure disease than that makes him a sort of humanitarian as well as a hard as nails cop. Which is something that can’t be said for Arnie’s “I’ll be back!”…Or Seagals “Where’s the cake, bitches?”
“Shut the fuck up, I’m whackin’ off!” – [WALKING THE EDGE – 1983]
Yelled by the great Robert Forster to an annoying fella banging on the toilet door…You see folks, Forster has just dispatched a no good punk sucker in a pubs bog…dispatched by jamming a knife right up his Dartford tunnel. What makes this line so good? Well, unlike most warnings or intimidating lines from movies, this one actually works in real life. Try it next time your partner or flatmate is banging on the bathroom door in the morning. Shuts them right up.
“That piece of scum barking-rat of yours has just taken its last dump on my lawn….if i find one more, just one, I’m gonna catch him and staple his ass shut!” – [THE ‘BURBS – 1989]
Spoken, or should I say yelled, by my favourite character from Joe Dante’s best movie (and Tom Hank‘s best for that matter), Mr Rumsfield, played by the brilliant Bruce Dern. This is a line that might work in the real world…As long as the person you’re yelling it at isn’t a 250 pound mentalist with a couple of Dobermans. Save it for an old woman with a couple of those little fucking yapping things that look like shaved rats.
“Fuck you…You dirty, lying, swindling bastards. You’re two of a kind. FUCK YOU!” – [THE INTRUDER – 1986]
The Intruder, Indonesia’s fantastic Rambo rip off, where a guy who looks a bit like Stallone wonders around, getting in random fights and calling himself Rambu. This line comes at the moment where Rambu realises he’s been double crossed, so he smashes up a buffet with a lead pipe then gives the dirty, lying, swindling bastards a bit of a tongue lashing. I used this line once when Jamie and Derek borrowed and subsequently lost my copy of Laser Mission, then blamed it on my cat…Which I instantly knew was bullshit because my cat hates Ernest Borgnine.