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Capsule Reviews

Views on some flicks i’ve watched over the past month or so…I really should get around to writing full reviews again, but until then, here’s some Ronnie Corbet sized opinions. Also, I’ve just realised that this is the 100th post on the blog. So yay for that n’ stuff.

Murphy’s Law [1986]

Pretty solid slice of Cannon/Mid 80’s Bronson action. Spurts of brutal violence now and then (wasn’t expecting that hostage situation in the airport go the way it did) and some bad ass one liners from Bronson (“Don’t fuck with Jack Murphy!”).

It was also extremely surreal to see the Jarvis family home from ‘Friday The 13th Part 4’ used here. Because I’ve seen F13TH4 so many times, it was almost like ‘Murphy’s Law’ was trespassing on another movie. I’m tempted to edit together a Bronson VS Jason mash up…But anyway…

The thing that let it down a little for me personally, was the terrible (and constant) “hard ass” dialogue from the Arabella character, “dildo-nose” “butt crust” “snot licking donkey fart”…the list goes on…it is funny in a “what the hell?” kind of way, but the constant barrage of insults and the character start to grind your tits into a smooth paste after 10 minutes. It’s not the actress’ fault obviously and she does do her best with what she’s been given, but either the writer just made up these bizarre insults himself or someone tricked him into believing that these were the hip new slang terms that the cool rebellious kids were using…and he foolishly believed it. What a “dildo nose”.

10 To Midnight [1983]

Yes, more 80’s Bronson. A bit of a departure really from his usual output of this time as this is pretty much a straight police thriller mixed with a slasher movie, but more in the vein of a sleazy exploitation movie than a Friday The 13th clone. There isn’t really much action as say Murphy’s Law or a Death Wish sequel, which is kind of what I was expecting at first, but was pleasantly surprised when it delivered a solid and sleazy serial killer movie.

The fact that the killer murders his victim in the nude is a nice sleazy touch and Gene Davis who plays him puts in a great manic performance. I thought this was the first time i’d ever seen him in anything, but looking through the guys filmography after watching the movie I was surprised by just how many times he’d popped up in movies and the variety of people he’s worked with…Pacino (Cruising), Bronson (10 To Midnight & Messenger Of Death), Van Damme (Black Eagle & Universal Soldier), Nicolas Winding Refn (Fear X)

Two greats turn up in small roles, those being Geoffry Lewis and Wilford “Ah’ll Kill You!” Brimley, two actors who are always a welcome surprise in any movie.

So yeah, a more solid outing than Murphy’s Law and definitely one for the slasher/serial killer genre fan who may have passed this one by thinking it was a typical Bronson action movie.

Scream 4 [aka “Scre4m”…Yeah. What!? Scre-four-m?] [2011]

I shouldn’t even really be writing a review for this, it’s not really fair….as i turned it off after about 15 minutes…but i can’t see myself making the effort to attempt to watch it again, so to hell with it. And this isn’t coming from someone who hates the franchise, I quite enjoy the first movie, even if it does think its smarter than it actually is.

But back to Scream 4; I could tell it was going to be a waste of time…and when it got to the scene with two characters watching Shaun Of The Dead and my girlfriend said “I wish WE were watching Shaun Of The Dead…Instead of this shit!” I knew it was time to quit…If you show a clip of another film in your movie, and it makes the viewer want to watch that instead, doesn’t matter what the movie is, you’re doing something wrong.

The thing that was most surprising in the 15 minutes that I watched was that Neve Campbell has barely aged a day since Wild Things…and Courtney Cox now resembles a waxwork of Janice Dickinson.

Paul [2011]

Now whilst I liked the movie…I just didn’t find it very funny, which is pretty bad for a comedy but ah…

I thought the references to various other films (mainly Spielberg) were nicely done and didn’t feel too shoe horned and forced. Seth Rogen wasn’t as annoying as I thought he was going to be, but I bet it was his fucking idea to have Paul be a pothead though. Jesus. Enough with the weed humour folks, it stopped being funny in the 90’s.

So yeah, decent…Just wish it had actually made me laugh more. If they’d put as much effort into the (at times) pretty lazy and tired jokes as they did the references, it would have been great. Bateman was, as always, great though.

Thor [2011]

Pretty disappointing to be honest…and rather dull. I’m not really sure how it’s possible to make a movie about a norse god with a hammer that is hard as nails this average, but they managed it.

The performances are all good, Hemsworth has just the right amount of doucheyness during the first act and Hopkins does some of his classic shouty-then-quiet acting that he hasnt done for a while. I had forgotten that Tadanobu Asano was in this and every time his character appeared I thought “Is that…? Nah!”. If only he got out the tempura and needles, this might have been a bit more interesting.

But yeah in general I just thought it was really uninteresting and a bit too camp…not to mention the textureless design of Asgard reminded me too much of the Star Wars prequels.

Anyway, next up is Captain America and then i’m “ready” for The Avengers”.

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